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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24473740">Cuz I Love You</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/mxstyassasxin/pseuds/mxstyassasxin'>mxstyassasxin</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>24 for my 24th [24]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, Drinking to Cope, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Patronus Charm (Harry Potter)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 02:27:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,312</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24473740</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/mxstyassasxin/pseuds/mxstyassasxin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Work 24 of my birthday oneshots, the last one, marking my 24th birthday. Inspired by Lizzo's Cuz I Love You.</p><p>Harry falls into many things after the war, including Draco Malfoy's bed. He panics and runs, finding solace in the forests of Washington until the wild winter starts to remind him of what, and who, he ran from.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>24 for my 24th [24]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1736755</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>82</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Cuz I Love You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After the war, Harry fell. He fell <em>hard</em>.</p><p>It had started out okay, despite spending the summer grieving for those he had lost. He held the Weasleys together and they did the same for him in turn. But, when Hermione and Ginny went back to Hogwarts, and Neville and Ron began their training with the Aurors, it was as if life went back to normal for them. Life carried on.</p><p>Harry fell when he realised that he had no one else left to fall for. He had already fallen for them all, back at Hogwarts in the forbidden forest. They didn’t need him anymore.</p><p>So, he fell for himself.</p><p>He fell into silence, shutting everyone out.</p><p>He fell into the drink, the pounding, throbbing music of the clubs.</p><p>And then he fell into the arms of his childhood nemesis, the two of them struggling to cope with the surprising loneliness of a post-war wizarding Britain.</p><p>It wasn’t until he fell into bed with him though, that Harry ran.</p><p>He fled to America. The first time he’d ever left Britain, and it was on a frantic whim to the first place he could think of.</p><p>He didn’t pack, he didn’t tell anyone. Just disappeared from Malfoy’s bed the morning after and got the first portkey to the States.</p><p>The Magical Transport Department of MACUSA were extremely helpful in suggesting somewhere quiet for him to spend a few months, to recuperate from the war, handing him a two-way portkey to Washington – the State that is.</p><p>He found the No-Maj who owned a derelict building on a large piece of land and paid to take it off his hands there and then. The western boundary was made up of the edge of a cliff that fell away into the rolling waves of the Pacific Ocean. Spruce, pine and fir trees covered the rest of the land, sheltering his new lodgings from the wild, winter weather.</p><p>It was quiet. The wind and the rain through the trees reminding him of the better times he had in Scotland. The sun, when it filtered through the clouds, brought memories of Hermione and Ron laughing as they sat on the banks of the lake.</p><p>Eventually though, the clouds and the storms and the swirling sea reminded Harry of other things.</p><p>An intense, icy stare that was as far from cold as it was possible to get. That burned through him, filling him with want and pain and regret. The grey-blue sheets that had held comfort and release, talks of pasts forgiven, wrongs undone.</p><p>The turbulent waves that rolled - horses, Malfoy had once called them as they sat in a lonely little café near Aberystwyth – reminded him of the patronus he hadn’t been able to cast since the Battle, since he died. The stag that had abandoned him, taking with it the last tangible connection to his parents.</p><p>But the waves also morphed as he watched them, twisting into the powerful muscle and dangerous stripes he had seen in the tiger that had prowled around his living room, ensuring he made it home from the club. He chuckled, remembering the scare he’d had the first time, so far gone on the drink and opening the door to see the massive silvery creature pacing the room. Malfoy’s voice from the tiger had shocked him enough into taking a sobering potion. He didn’t know when Malfoy had learnt the patronus charm, nor why his was a tiger, but Harry had seen it every night that he’d left Malfoy a bit worse for wear after their conversations over a bottle of firewhisky.</p><p>The evergreen of the trees surrounding the house began to remind Harry of the green walls of the Manor’s study. Walls that had been witness to tales of the muggle world, of pureblood politics, of family who meant well and family who didn’t. Memories of friends who had been lost were spilled before those walls, as were the tears for them. Two boys, forced to grow up far too fast, their worlds brimming with fire and pain, rage and torment. An understanding forming between them.</p><p>And then to something more. A bond forming from that understanding, pulling them closer, entwining themselves in each other as they had always done, but in healing rather than anger.</p><p>Harry had fallen alright.</p><p>He’d ran thinking it was a mistake, but it was this that was the mistake. Running an ocean and a continent away from that comfort, that understanding. Being far from Malfoy, far from <em>Draco</em>. He was lost.</p><p>He could see those grey eyes in everything now, his anchor, the lifeline that had held him down on earth, refusing to be severed by distance, strengthened by care and trust and love.</p><p><em>Love</em>.</p><p>Harry’s life had always come down to that. First Lily’s, then Narcissa’s, and now, surprisingly, his own for Draco and Draco’s for him.</p><p>Harry smiled at the realisation, hope and love and excitement building in his chest. He had seen it in Draco, the touches, the smiles, the words he used. The way he’d curled his lithe frame around Harry the night Harry ran. The way he said Harry’s name, softly, murmured in peaceful sleep against Harry’s jaw.</p><p>The rising happiness grew too much, filling him to bursting, silver sparks flying from the end of his wand as his magic sang. The colour familiar in the darkness, a colour of hope and love and life and family.</p><p>He raised his wand into the air and, for the first time, in a long time, shouted the words <em>Expecto Patronum,</em> grinning wildly as a form took shape in front of him. Four thick, powerful legs. Paws the size of dinner plates, sleek fur shining, fur that he knew would be jet black if he could see it. A lonesome creature, powerful and unique. Different enough to Draco’s tiger to be his own, to be <em>Harry,</em> but the link was clear.</p><p>Harry shouted his jubilation and the silver panther curled around him, sharing in his joy. He wished he could stroke the fur that looked so soft as he apologised to it for sending it so far on its first journey. It would be going to Wiltshire. Informing Draco that he was coming home. That he was sorry.</p><p>The first portkey pulled him from the lodge to New York, the second to the Ministry in London after an anxious seven-hour wait. Finally, he was twisting away to the Manor gates, willing them to open for him.</p><p>They did and, running down the drive towards him, barefoot of all things, was Draco. Draco, who flung his arms around Harrys neck before pulling back to check Harry over, throwing punches at his chest when he realised that Harry was fine.</p><p>“You prat! You absolute wanker!”</p><p>“Hello, Draco.”</p><p>“No. You, <em>you</em> don’t get to call me that. You left. Just went and bloody disappeared.”</p><p>Harry caught the fists that were still pummelling his chest, holding them tightly in his own, staring into those icy eyes that held so much fire.</p><p>“I know. I’m sorry I panicked. Truly, Draco.”</p><p>He could see Draco searching the depths of his eyes and whatever he sought, he must have found it because he visibly relaxed and Harry pulled him into a tight hug.</p><p>“Did you see my patronus?”</p><p>“That thing scared the living daylights out of me,” Draco muttered into Harry’s chest.</p><p>“Well, so did yours that first time.”</p><p>He heard a short huff from the man wrapped in his arms and they fell into comfortable silence for a minute before Draco spoke again.</p><p>“When did it change?”</p><p>Harry let Draco out of his arms and began moving towards the imposing building ahead of him, turning to walk backwards when he was a few paces away from the other man, a grin on his face.</p><p>“When I realised I love you.”</p>
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